Handling Confrontation

Dear Parents,

Assertiveness and aggression are different approaches to handling confrontation. One is positive-the other is negative. What is the difference between "assertive" and "aggressive"? Assertive behavior is rooted in respect while aggressive behavior is the opposite. Leaving the emotions out of the voice that gives directions; and keeping it more 'mindful' and guidance driven - will be more productive with results. Talking clearly and giving confident instruction reduces power struggles and gives children the power to adhere without the feeling of being controlled. 

Wishing you all a good shabbos,

Dassie New

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The Takeaway:

The Assertive Voice is the Voice of Knowing. It is neither aggressive nor passive. It simply states what has to be done, in a matter of fact voice with clear descriptions of what needs to be done.

The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.

Instead of constant negatives and putting down, we need to teach children what TO DO, because you get more of the behaviors you focus on. This is called the power of attention.